Recently I had to wake up to the fact that, for a particular season, I had become self-consciousness. I found myself constantly defending myself –both in my head and out loud. This is not a trait I normally “live in”. In the words of Oswald Chambers: “Beware of allowing self-consciousness to continue because by slow degrees it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is Satanic.”
Self-consciousness does not make us humble, it makes us self-centered. Our thoughts revolve around ourselves and our feelings. As a leader, unchecked self-consciousness leads to defensiveness, weakness, insecurity, bitterness, and yes, an open door to be used by the enemy. We are yielding to our flesh instead of to Christ, and our decisions reflect that. We become ineffective.
The Lord spoke very clearly to me one day and said “Stop defending yourself. Focus on what I think about you – not others. I know what’s going on, and I’m the only one that matters.”
When we are being led by Christ, our thoughts are not our own, and certainly do not revolve around us. “The true character of the loveliness that tells of God is always unconscious.” (OC) It becomes commonplace for us to lead from the mind of Christ, and our natural influence increases.
“[She] that believeth in Me, out of [her] shall flow rivers of living water.” John 7:38