As an adult, I’ve fought long battles with the fear of not having enough. Most of the time that manifests itself as the fear of not having enough money – and wouldn’t you know it, that fear follows me into my ministry’s work. The one place I should be relying on God, not my own works, to make things happen.
About seven months ago, a family was introduced to our foundation and they desperately needed transportation to get to and from their child’s chemotherapy. My gut reaction was “We have to get them a car,” and I always go with my gut. But how? We are a small foundation and at the time only had about $10,000 in the bank. This was a completely crazy idea, and frankly outside the scope of what we had planned to do for families. But still, my gut persisted and so did I. I reach out to several personal connections at car dealerships, but with little success. So, I did what any computer savvy almost-forty-year-old would do: I went to social media. I told the family’s story and asked for help. I knew if enough people came together we could make this happen.
Imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning to a message from one individual saying he wanted to donate the entire amount. God had blessed him with two healthy, grown children and placed it on his heart to help this family. I read the message several times before handing it to my husband. Could I be seeing things? Did this say what I thought it said? With one phone call, I confirmed the man was indeed serious and we had a check in our hands the next day.
I’m still blown away by the ability for God to move in that way. Not only is it humbling to remember that nothing is done by my effort alone, but that we too often don’t give God the room to show us just how BIG He is. He knows exactly what my ministry’s needs are, but sometimes I crowd Him out with my hubris.
When I’m feeling anxious about filing a need for a family or funding a research grant we had planned for, I pause and remind myself who it all belongs to. Proverbs 16:9 tells us “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Ultimately, He will make it work out for His good. I am tasked as His hands and feet to execute the work He planned for long ago. With that in mind, I step out each day with confidence knowing I cannot fail.